One of the hardest things about being a new mom was not getting enough sleep each night.
During my son’s first year of life, I never got a whole night’s sleep which was physically and emotionally draining. I knew that if I could just get some sleep, I would have more energy and be happier.
When my son was eight months old, he was still waking up two and three times every night, and I was exhausted from not getting a good night’s sleep in what seemed like forever.
I finally made the decision to stop rocking him so that he would learn to fall asleep without me. In the midst of sleep training, he started cutting a tooth and getting a cold!
All of that added up to some looooong nights. My eyes, my mind, and my body were all tired. One night as I waited for my baby to go to sleep, familiar words ran through my mind:
At that point I didn’t want to be patient and kind. I just wanted to go back to my bed and get some Zzzzz’s! But I kept hearing those words.
Even though I didn’t feel like it, that night I chose to be patient and to love because I’m a mom. Since becoming a mom, I have learned more about choosing to love even when I don’t feel like it.
Sometimes when my son is fussing and I am finding it hard to choose love, I whisper to him, “I love you.” It is a reminder for me to choose to show him love at the moment when it is the hardest.
When I read I Corinthians 13, I think of what love looks like from a new mom’s perspective.
Love is patient, love is kind.
Even at 2:00 in the morning and I have not had a good night’s sleep in months.
Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Even when I have to go to the store wearing a shirt that is still a little snug thanks to my post-baby belly, and I realize half way through the store that there is spit up on the the front of the shirt!
Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking.
Even when I have a to-do list a mile long, but I don’t get anything done on it because little man needs my attention.
Love is not easily angered.
Even when my son decides that his sweet potatoes belong all over the floor, in his hair, in my hair, and on my freshly washed pair of jeans!
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
A mother’s love is unconditional. Even when the night before was full of crying and sleepless hours, my baby is still greeted with a hug and kiss in the morning.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
I cling to the truth that being a mom is truly a gift, not a burden.
Love always protects,
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I thought about the life I was responsible for and knew I would do anything to protect it.
Love always trusts,
I know I’m not the perfect mother and that I have and will continue to make mistakes as a mom, but I trust that God will use my best efforts.
Love always hopes,
When I watch my son sleep and listen to him breathe, I dream of his future and imagine a handsome, confident, loving young man.
Love always perseveres.
Even when I have given all I think I can give, I find that I can give some more. Motherhood has challenged me far beyond what I knew I was capable of doing.