As I get ready for our second baby, I’ve been thinking back to some of the best advice for a new mom I was given.
If you are a mom, you know how it goes. We all want to help each other out so we give advice about clothing, feeding, diapering …. you name it, somebody’s got advice to give!
As I heard all of this advice from veteran moms, I knew that I would use some of it, but most of it I would have to figure out on my own.
However there were two pieces of new mom advice that I tucked in my memory.
The first was given to me by a co-worker and friend. She said,
“Enjoy each stage your child is in rather than wishing for the next stage to come.”
I’ve remembered that simple but important advice over the past 3 years. Although some times I do a better job at this than others.
Let’s face it, some seasons are really, really difficult.
I remember almost going in sane as a first time mom when my son was a newborn. I was in tremendous pain from nursing and living off only a few hours of sleep.
Thankfully I got passed the motherhood survival stage, but it sure took me awhile!
Now that he is a toddler, there are other challenging things about this current season, but my goal is to enjoy it.
You may be wondering how do you enjoy each stage when it is hard and frustrating?
YOU FOCUS ON THE GOOD.
If you are constantly thinking about the challenging aspects of motherhood is will wear you out and you’ll start to resent being a mom.
But keeping your mind on the good will help you to be grateful even on the hard days.
Some seasons are easier than others to find the good, but there is always something good in every stage.
You may have to do a little digging, but you will find it if you purposefully look for it.
Which leads to the second best advice for new moms…
After I delivered my son, there was a whirlwind of activity that I was not prepared for as a first time mom. It was especially difficult as an introvert who needs her space to think and breath. 🙂
After all of the commotion following his delivery, my nurse got me settled into my hospital room and helped me start some quiet skin-to-skin with my newborn.
Just at that moment we had visitors come to the room and of course they wanted to hold the baby.
I thought about passing him along to be held by others, when my nurse said,
“You won’t ever get this day back.”
After hearing her say that, I chose to hold on to our two hours old baby, and soak up that moment with him.
Her advice stuck with me, and I have kept it in my heart throughout the last three years.
Instead of rushing and looking forward to what’s next, I try my best to enjoy the time that I will never get again with my son.
We moms are trained to constantly look for the next milestone our children should be reaching.
When I am out in public or meet someone new, the first question I get is, “How old is your son?”
Followed by, “Has he started rolling, walking, talking, potty training, ect….”
Usually my son hasn’t reached whatever milestone is in question. So the next question I get is, “Well have you tried this or that?”
The truth is I haven’t pushed my son to reach certain milestones in his three short years. There’s no rush to get to “the next big thing.”
Mothers often think they are doing a good job if they push their children to the next milestone early.
But in all that energy spent reaching the next phase, are you missing out on the present?
I hope not.
I don’t want to look back on my time as a mom and regret the time I spent preparing for the future so much that I missed the every day moments.
Don’t get me wrong. I think it is important to teach our children.
There are certain habits and things that I teach my son everyday, but I’ve decided that I’m not going to obsessively worry about his progress, nor am I going to wish for next year to get here.
One book that I just finished reading is Hands Free Life* by Rachel Macy Stafford. She talks about living in the present and soaking up the little moments with your family, kids especially.
It was a real tear jerker for me, but also a great reminder to make the little moments count.
I don’t want to look back on my life and wish that I could get time back with my son.
I want to make the best use of my time now.
Being intentional with the time that you have with your kids can make ALL the difference in your relationship with them.
Instead of rushing around or just getting through every day activities like meals and chores, slow down and make the moments count.
Life can get pretty crazy as a mom and knowing how to balance everything is a struggle.
But it doesn’t have to be.
That’s why I created the FREE Balanced Mom Checklist so you know exactly what to do to have a clean house, supper on the table, and quality time with your kids!
Sign up for my emails, and you can download the checklist today.
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