I’m often told how lucky I am to be a stay at home mom, but there are days I don’t feel that lucky. Especially during those early days, I didn’t know how to be a happy stay at home mom.
Now that I’ve been a stay at home mom for almost 6 years, I’ve learned some important tips for enjoying my role. Instead of waking up each day dreading a lonely day at home, I wake up excited that I get to be a stay at home mom.
But it didn’t come naturally. I had to make intentional changes and choices in order to be happy.
How to be a happy stay at home mom
1. Give yourself grace.
I hear this phrase all the time, but it’s helpful to know what that means in action.
Giving yourself grace means treating yourself kindly.
We all have bad mom moments and days, but sometimes we blow those moments out of proportion and call ourselves a “bad mom”. We say insensitive things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else because it would hurt their feelings.
Have you ever thought about the fact that you talk to yourself more than anyone else?
Are you saying kind things? Be intentional about the thoughts you allow in your mind. When you start to say those unkind words to yourself, stop them and change your thoughts.
Here’s more ways to be kind and happier:
- Aim for good enough, not perfection.
- Fess up when you mess up, but don’t beat yourself up.
- Forgive your kids, husband, and yourself quickly.
- Allow for wiggle room in your schedule.
- Only compare yourself to YOURSELF not some one else.
2. Schedule quiet time for yourself.
Kids are loud and when you are around it all day long, it can wear a mom out. It’s important to have quiet time to yourself so you can think, clear your thoughts, and concentrate on your own well being.
All of that will make you a happier mom!
This is especially true if you are an introvert, but I believe all mothers (people in general) need quiet time to reflect.
Fight for these quiet moments. Schedule them. Make them nonnegotiable!
1.Get up 15 minutes before your kids. If that sounds extremely hard to do, read this post about how to wake up before your kids even if you aren’t a morning person.
2. Have independent play time for your kids each day. The quiet is good for them too because it forces them to get creative instead of being entertained all the time. Boredom is actually good for your kids!
3. Express your need to your spouse and come up with a time each week that you can have alone time out of the house.
3. Find a happy mom friend.
Being a stay at home mom can be lonely, really lonely. The only way to get around that is to interact with other people.
Go where moms are:
- Join a MOPS group.
- Go to library reading programs.
- Talk to other moms at the park or school.
- Start a conversation with moms at church.
How to start conversations with other moms.
- Genuinely compliment their outfit.
- Ask about their kids.
- Ask if they have been to “such and such event” before.
If they give you more than one word answers, and carry on the conversation by asking about you too, you may have found a friend!
Remember, you don’t just need a friend. Other moms need you to be a friend too!
4. Find some outfits you can rock even at home!
Your hair may be doing it’s own thing and you may have only had 5 minutes to get yourself ready, but what you put on should make you feel good.
You need go-to outfits that you can put on and feel confident facing the world. Maybe it’s not even an entire outfit, but a pair of shoes or earrings that just helps you hold your head a little higher and tackle the day.
Life is too short to wear clothes that make us feel miserable. So make sure you have clothes that make you feel good even if you are at home all day.
You and your family deserve the best version of yourself, so let your outside reflect that.
5. Thankfulness leads to happiness.
Picking up toys, changing diapers, washing dishes, folding clothes, the list goes on….
All of those mundane daily tasks can start to feel like a burden and it’s easy to become burnt out and even resentful.
However, when you think about the reason behind all of those tasks, you can’t help but be thankful. When you are thankful, it makes your day as a stay at home mom a lot more enjoyable.
6. A rested mom is a happy mom.
I had NO IDEA how little sleep I could survive on until I became a mom. But survive is exactly what I did. I didn’t thrive. I was just making it through the day.
Your body needs sleep, but as a mom it is often limited because you may have a baby who wakes during the night, kids that have bad dreams or get sick… You just never really know for sure how much sleep you are going to get each night as a parent.
That’s why mom needs a bedtime too.
You can determine what time you go to bed. It’s tempting to stay up late after your children go to bed so you can enjoy your free time, but you will pay for it the next day.
Make sure you go to bed early enough to get the sleep you need.
That’s why it’s important to have your own designated bedtime. In fact, studies show that when you got to bed at a consistent time, you are actually able to fall asleep faster.
7. A happy stay at home mom has a sense of humor.
Life is unpredictable, especially with kids!
Things won’t always go as planned. Your kids will embarrass you. And you know, sometimes the best thing you can do is simply laugh.
When you don’t take unimportant things too seriously, life is a lot more enjoyable.
If I feel irritated with my son for asking “Why?” for the 20th time in an hour, I have to stop, take a deep breath, smile, and respond.
If I laugh about it instead of reacting in annoyance, I keep my sanity and we are all happier.
Kids feed off of our disposition. So when mom is happier and not taking things too seriously, kids will do the same.
The next time you feel angry or irritated at your kids, change your perspective and find the humor in the situation.
8. Mom needs prayer.
How often do you worry about your kids? If you answered every day, you are like the majority of moms.
But worrying doesn’t help solve any problems. It just causes more stress and anxiety. I’ve even lost sleep because of my worry!
I know not everyone who reads my blog is a christian, but for those who are I encourage you to turn those worries into prayer.
I used to pray about things multiple times, but realized that was just another way of worrying! So now, when I’m tempted to worry about a particular situation with my kids, I pray and leave it there.
When you incorporate these things in your life, you will find you have learned how to be a happy stay at home mom!
Another things that makes me happy is a clean house. You may feel like having a clean house and spending time with your kids is impossible, but it’s not!
Stop feeling overwhelmed at home. Get ahead on the housework with the Motivated Homemaker Checklist!
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