A couple of weeks ago, I took my kids ages 2 and 5 to the playground. While we were there, I saw a lot of moms with kids younger than mine.
And those moms had to be super vigilant as their young toddlers climbed up high on the playground set.
As I watched these moms, I couldn’t help but smile as I realized that was me just a few short months ago!
I was constantly by my toddlers’s side making sure she didn’t fall. But within the last few months she has become much more independent at the playground.
I didn’t realize it until I saw the other moms, but one season of motherhood had changed into another season without me even noticing.
One thing I’ve learned about being a mom is that seasons of life don’t last forever even though it may feel like it.
Some of the best advice I ever got was from a friend when my son was going through a difficult phase, I was complaining about the situation and trying to figure out how to fix it.
My friend encouraged me, “It’s only a phase. He’ll get over it eventually. Don’t stress about it.”
She was right!
I couldn’t fix the situation. I couldn’t change my son.
I simply needed to show love and patience to my son which ended up strengthening my character and teaching ME lessons.
Being a mom is hard.
Here’s what to do about that!
This season of motherhood won’t last forever.
When you are in the midst of a difficult season, it feels like Groundhog’s day. You face the same issues day after day, and you just want it to stop.
Whatever it might be…
It may be those newborn days when you feel like you will never sleep through the night.
Or the phase where you never get a break while you eat because you are feeding a one year old.
Maybe it is years later when you teen won’t talk to you.
It won’t last forever!
One thing I’ve learned about life is this. You can accept each season of life and make the best of it, or you can complain your way through it. No matter what, you still have to live through the difficult situation, but the attitude you choose is up to you.
It’s best to learn contentment as a mom.
Because here’s the thing, once this season is over, you’ll face another season which will have its difficulties as well. Even though you can’t change the situation, you can build character and learn how to better deal with hard situations.
And let me tell ya, being a mom is a lot less harder when you remember these days won’t last forever.
If you are a Christian, ask God for the strength to make it through this season. He will give it to you!
There ARE good things happening.
When your mind is fixated on all the negative aspects of being a mom, that’s all you see. You train your brain to see the bad and miss the good.
Instead, train your mind to intentionally focus on the positive.
You have to be intentional about this. It won’t happen on accident.
One thing that helps me is to do what 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
In other words, God wants us to take control of our thoughts. You talk to yourself more than any other person even if it isn’t audible. You cannot run away from your thoughts.
BUT — You can CHANGE your thoughts!
If you are constantly saying things like, “Being a mom is so hard…My kids are so much work…I can’t do this….”
Guess what? Being a mom is going to stay hard. It won’t get easier.
When those negative thoughts enter your mind, take them captive!
Stop the thought and change it. “I am the best mom for my kids…I can rise up to the challenge of being a mom…I will take care of myself too.”
Another simple thing you can do is take time each day to reflect on what you have to be thankful. Maybe it is writing these things out in a journal, praying, or talking to a spouse or friend. Often we use those times to do the opposite, don’t we?
- We call a friend to complain.
- We journal our negative emotions.
- We plead with God to change our circumstances.
But what if, we also chose to focus on the good? That would drastically change our perspectives!
If you are struggling to find the good and want some specific things you can do, read this post Overcome Stay at Home Mom Depression.
You can’t always fix a difficulty.
Lastly, remember that sometimes you simply learn and grow as you deal with the situation instead of changing it.
We try to control the circumstances and people around us thinking that will solve our problems and make us happy.
- If only my teen would learn to clean up after himself.
- If only my toddler would potty train.
- If only my preschooler would do better at school.
- If only… the list goes on and on.
But another important lesson I’ve learned as a mom is that I really only have control of myself. Sure, I can learn a parenting trick here and there, but the truth is that my kids are individuals who can’t simply be “fixed”.
So instead of trying to fix the hard aspects of motherhood, look for what YOU could be doing differently or better to get through the situation.
Yes, there may be some sort of strategy that helps you potty train your toddler, but don’t feel like you have to do it a certain way that you read on some blog! 🙂
Take your time. Listen to your child. Do your best. And remember it won’t last forever.
I don’t know exactly where you are on your motherhood journey. You may be having a really great season and you may be experiencing difficult things.
No matter what, I hope this is an encouragement to you today. And know that if you are reading this I pray for you on a regular basis.
Make the best of today, Momma.