I remember the first time I heard someone tell me this.
My firstborn was only 3 weeks old, and it was the first time we took him out in public. So naturally, I put a button up collared shirt, suspenders, and bowtie on him!
It took me forever to put it on him, and the whole time I was worried that I was hurting him because dressing a floppy newborn in adult clothes isn’t an easy task.
As we were showing off our baby, I told a mom about how difficult it had been to put the clothes on him that morning.
With absolutely no sympathy, she looked at me and said, “Oh it’s easy to dress them at that stage. Just wait until he gets older.”
My heart sunk. So, that wasn’t supposed to be difficult? Am I a bad mom already?
I remember a couple of months later, a different mother said something similar.
She asked how I was doing, and thinking it was okay for me to be honest, I told her I was really tired. At that point, I was overwhelmed with motherhood and getting very little sleep at night.
Again I was met with an unsympathetic response, “You don’t know tired yet. Just wait until his is a toddler!”
It was the second time in a few weeks that I heard “just wait… it gets worse… it gets harder.”
As a new mom who was struggling to get through life each day, this was incredibly discouraging.
Being a mom gets worse? This is the easy part of motherhood?
If I was feeling this overwhelmed already, then how was I going to do later?
Now, I feel like I should give these moms the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know what they were dealing with personally. They probably had their own mom struggles and couldn’t help me with mine.
But those ladies taught me a valuable lesson.
- I never wanted my words to make a fellow mom feel the way I did.
- I wanted to be heard.
- I wanted another mom to say, “Yeah, it’s hard. I remember those days. But it’s so worth it.”
- I needed empathy and encouragement.
After hearing for the second time, “Oh, this is nothing. Wait until they get older!” I vowed to myself that I would never say that to another mom.
Every season of motherhood has its difficulties, but that doesn’t mean we should make little of the current season a mother is experiencing.
Because here’s the thing, when a mom shares a personal struggle, she’s being super brave. She’s putting herself out there and admitting she doesn’t have it all figured out.
She’s probably worried that she is the only one feeling that way and needs someone to tell her she isn’t the only one. She can do this!
When a friend tells you that something is hard, please don’t make little of it. Please don’t tell them it’s only going to get worse. Please don’t compare your story with theirs.
Listen to them. Acknowledge the struggle. Encourage them.
And if they are looking for some advice, speak kind truth to their hearts.
I love the quote, “It’s okay to not be okay. It’s not okay to stay that way.”
As a mom please remember that yourself, and surround yourself with other moms who will remind you of this.
It’s okay to struggle and feel like things are not okay. It happens to all of us. BUT please also remember that you don’t have to stay that way.
That’s why I created the free stay at home mom checklist. I want you to stop feeling overwhelmed at home. You can balance a clean house, supper on the table, and quality time with your kids.
Get the checklist sent to your inbox today to get ahead at home!
Remember, Mom, we are all in this together. Let’s encourage each other on our motherhood journeys!