Your every day interactions with your children let them know you love and value them. But if you aren’t intentional with your interactions, you may miss some simple yet important things you can do.
We are constantly telling our kids “no” or “stop”. And probably for good reason! We are protecting them from danger and helping them learn what is appropriate and what is not. But if we aren’t careful, the majority of our interactions with our children become negative instead of positive.
Your children are soaking it all in. The words you say have a huge impact on them emotionally. In this post, I’ll share some specific ways you can speak positively to your kids.
Also, as a parent you may feel like you don’t have enough time with your kids because you have many responsibilities. You have to work, keep up with the household and run errands. You need time for yourself too. Unfortunately, I can’t give you more time to spend with your kids, but I can share how to make the best of that time you do have so that your children know you love and care for them.
How to Make Your Child Feel Loved and Valued
1. Do something they love with them.
Many parents get busy doing things for their children, but forget to do things with their children. Every once in awhile, you need to stop being busy and get down on their level to do things they enjoy.
What ever your child loves doing, make a commitment to spend some time doing that activity with them this week. Even if you are not good at pretend play there are still plenty of activities you can do together.
Break out the coloring books and crayons and color with them. Pull out the bikes and ride around the neighborhood as a family.
Play house, race cars, build legos, or have pretend tea.
I know how easy it is to simply say, “no” when your kids ask to do things with you because you are busy. You have responsibilities, right?
But I want to encourage you to say “yes” when you can. Even if it is only for 10 minutes, that is still quality time spent with your child that will make them feel valued.
2. Listen to them.
We all need to be heard, and that includes children. Their stories may be filled with every little detail that you really don’t need to know, but listening to them is an important way to demonstrate that they are valued.
And let me tell ya, kids know when we are really listening and when we are just half paying attention. They are pretty intuitive.
So if at all possible stop what you are doing, make eye contact, and really listen when your children tells a story or shares a concern.
Sometimes I have no clue what my two year old is telling me, but I try to make a conscious effort to get down on her level and let her know I’m listening to what she has to say. Sometimes I figure it out. Sometimes I don’t!
But she knows that what she has to say is valuable to me.
3. Let them know you are proud of them.
Children want to please others, especially their parents. You can show them your love by letting them know you think they are special.
Designate a specific place in your home for displaying your child’s artwork or papers from school. It doesn’t have to be perfect or fancy.
If you have a magnetic refrigerator, assign a special magnet for displaying your child’s work. I used a ribbon and clothespins from my craft supplies to make a simple display.
Another way to show your children you are proud of them is to simply tell them. Think about all of the things you say to your child each day.
How much of it is giving instructions or correcting behavior?
Now compare that to how often you share encouragement with your child.
Let me be super honest with you, if I’m not careful, I find myself correcting my children’s behavior or giving them instructions more than I give them positive feedback.
They needs both.
4. Laugh with them.
When you share a laugh with your children, you share a special bond. It’s easy to forget to laugh. But kids love to laugh and be goofy.
Let your guard down and share a laugh with your child over something they say or an inside joke.
We all love giving gifts to our children and children love receiving gifts, but love can be shown in so many others ways besides just a big pile under the Christmas tree or the amount of gifts on their birthday.
5. Say “I Love you!” daily.
When was the last time you told your kids that you loved them? If you can’t remember, then it probably isn’t enough. They need to be reminded daily. Even better, multiple times a day!
I know adults who were never told by their parents that they were loved, and it affects them to the point of tears in adulthood. Make sure your kids KNOW they are loved by you.
We have a bedtime routine that we follow with our kids and we always end the day with, “I love you!” It is also something I like to say randomly throughout the day when I’m with my kids and then I give them a hug.
6. Limit distractions when you are with your kids.
We are constantly distracted by our phones and the television. It’s so easy to get on social media and scroll through my phone, but I’m much more productive and a better parent when I’m not distracted by my phone.
Another way we are often distracted from spending quality time with our kids is our own thoughts. Do you ever mull over past conversations or the problems of the world? I’ve found that when I’m distracted by negative thoughts, I often speak to my children from a negative place.
It’s really important to control the thoughts you allow in your mind, so that you are loving and kind to those precious little people around you.
I hope this has given you lots of practical ways to show your children they are loved and valued!