After becoming a mom, I realized the importance of living in the present. There is something about seeing your kids literally grow up in front of your eyes that makes you understand how fast time goes!
But the problem is you can’t slow time down. So you have to make the present moment count.
As the years have passed, I’ve learned some helpful tips for enjoying the time I spend with my kids and others.
When my oldest was a toddler, he wanted my attention while I was washing the dishes one night. I stopped the dishes and played with him for a few minutes, but then I returned to my dishes.
A few minutes later he stood next to me, tugged at my pant leg, and said, “Momma, Momma!”
He had never tugged on my pant leg before and it melted my heart! This time I decided the dishes could wait until bedtime. I got on the floor so we could play blocks together. As he has gotten older, he doesn’t tug at my pant leg, but he asks for my time and love in other ways.
It’s easy to focus on taking care of all the physical needs of our families: the laundry, meals, and a clean house. But what their souls need is our time and love. Yes, your family needs clean clothes and food to eat, but in all your doing for them, don’t forget about simply being with them.
Being present really doesn’t require much. It just means making intentional choices.
Living in the Present
1. Stop worrying about what might happen.
Before I had a baby I just knew that we weren’t going to give him a pacifier. Fast forward about 2 days after he was born, and we gave him a pacifier!
It made all the difference in the world, but I started worrying:
- What if he never wants to give up his pacifier?
- How am I going to wean him off of it?
- When should I wean him off of it?
- Is he going to be 5 years old and still using one?
- Am I going to be the mom that all the other moms judge because I couldn’t even take my son’s pacifier away?
I have always been a bit of a worry wart, and being a mother multipled my worries!
Finally, I told myself to stop worrying about what might happen and instead focus on his present need.
One of the best words of advise I received was to enjoy each season with your child and to not always be looking ahead to what is next.
Be Present.
Tomorrow will worry about itself.
Worrying about tomorrow is a waste of time, energy, happiness, and sleep. I wish I could take back all the hours that I should have been fast asleep, but instead I wasted tossing and turning because my mind was running crazy with worry about a situation that was out of my control.
Instead of worrying about what the future may or may not bring, let’s find the good in the present moment, and let tomorrow take care of itself!
2. Slow down and stop rushing.
All too often we get in a hurry just for the sake of hurrying. We rush through getting our kids fed, dressed, or bathed.
But in all our rushing, we are missing out on the precious moments with our loved ones and causing unnecessary stress.
What we really need to do is slow down. Enjoy your family’s laughter, smiles, and cuddles. Listen to their stories. Look them in the eyes.
If you can’t stop and enjoy the beauty around you, then maybe you’re hurrying too much.
When my son was around 10 months old, I had a lesson about living in the present. I had just finished feeding him around 4:30 A.M. and instead of rushing to put him back to bed, I snuggled with him a while longer just relishing the present moment.
It was such a precious moment as I listened to him breath, looked at his little face, and touched his sweet, tiny fingers. That moment will forever be etched into my mind.
We only have our children for a short while. Each moment counts because this time we have been given can never be replaced.
Do you find yourself hurrying just for the sake of hurrying? Slow down and look for the beautiful moments right in front of you.
3. Put the phone down more.
About 6 years ago, I read Hands Free Mama (affiliate link) by Rachel Stafford. Throughout the book she encourages moms to give more attention to the people around them than to electronic devices and to-do-lists. She also challenges her readers with specific tasks.
One of the first tasks was to make real connections with people during wait times instead of getting on the phone.
My first opportunity to make a connection was when I was waiting at the pharmacy. Instead of getting on my phone, I started smiling and talking to my baby. A couple minutes passed and I looked up to see a young lady with down syndrome watching us.
I smiled at her and she quickly smiled back at me. I guess she decided that was her invitation to come sit beside me. The next thing I knew she was introducing herself to me and “oohing” and “ahhing” over my son.
We chatted for the next 5 minutes, and before leaving she told me how nice it was to meet me, patted me on the shoulder, and walked away. Before walking down the aisle she turned around and saluted me. I saluted back, she nodded as if to approve of my salute, and headed down the aisle to finish shopping with her mom.
As I was driving home, I realized that I probably never would have met her if I had been on my phone. My head would have been bent down, eyes glued to the screen, oblivious to those around me. I’m glad I didn’t miss that opportunity.
It’s an experience that has stuck with me over the years. I do my best to limit my time on my phone, so that I can enjoy the present with those around me and be more productive.
Here are some ways that have helped me limit my screen time.
- delete social media apps off my phone
- turn off notifications
- put my phone in another room
- focus on one thing at a time
Being Present in the Moment
These 3 tips have helped me enjoy living in the present and I hope they will help you too. Before leaving, I want to share one last thought. Whenever I’m at the store with my kids, I often hear people say things like…
“My son is 29 … it feels like just yesterday he was that age.”
“My daughter is 16 … they grow up so fast.”
“My son is 47 … time really flies.”
“My daughter is 32 … you blink and they are grown”
I listen to these older parents who look at my kids as if they were looking at their own child years ago. And I read in-between the lines of what they are saying.
Laugh with them every chance you get.
Watch them while they play.
Study their little faces.
Snuggle a little longer.
Think about yourself in 10 or 20 years from now. What do you want to look back on? You’ll be so glad you chose to live in the present.
