Life is full of stress at every stage. However, as a mom, there is a different sort of stress.
You have children to care for in the midst of running errands, cleaning the house, and making meals.
Besides all of that, you also have friends and family to connect with, responsibilities at church and/or work. And even more!
It’s a lot to keep up with. Balancing it all can lead to burnout and feeling like a stressed out mom.
I’ve been a mom for a little over 8 years now, and there are specific times I can recall reaching a breaking point with stress. I was overwhelmed with everything, but I didn’t know why or what to do.
I knew something was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it until I started putting it into words.
In this post, I hope to put into words the burnout and stress you’re feeling and offer some practical solutions.
Because staying in a state of stress is not healthy for you or your family. I’ve learned that the hard way. Thankfully, I’ve also learned what to do about it!
Signs you are a stressed out mom
Stress can creep up on you slowly until one day it all piles up on you and you reach a breaking point. One day you realize you just can’t keep going on like this.
The stress has effected your attitude and emotional and physical state. It also has a domino effect on your children, husband, and others around you.
Here are some signs you’re experiencing stress as a mom.
- feeling angry even over seemingly small things
- tired or exhausted every day
- little patience for people around you
- not happy or in a state of grumpiness
- tension headaches
- weight gain from not taking care of yourself
Get Clear on What is Stressing You Out
The first step to decreasing stress is to clearly state what is stressing you out. Right now it feels like you have a million things to do and it all seems stressful.
Take some time by yourself to make a list of all the things that are stressing you out. Here are some ideas to get you started.
- No time to yourself
- A messy house
- a busy schedule
- making dinner
- your children’s behavior
- too much laundry
- a marriage conflict
- finances
- work related issue
How to deal with stress from motherhood
1. Let go of the things you can’t control.
After you identified the specific things that are stressing you out, determine which of those things are not in your control. For example, you’re not in control of your children’s behavior.
However, you are in control of how you respond to their behavior. You are in control of the expectations and consequences that you set up for your children’s behavior.
Decide right now that you are going to intentionally focus on what is in your control and stop trying to fix the things that are out of your control.
2. Identify possible solutions.
Now that you have your list of stressors and you have identified what is in your control and what is not, it’s time to find some solutions.
I like to simply divide a sheet of paper in half. One side is the stressor. The other side is the possible solutions.
Let’s go back to the example of your children’s behavior. When my kids were young, I would take them to the park and they would scream when it was time to leave.
It was a bit stressful. I had to come up with some possible solutions that I could control. I tried a few different solutions until one of them worked.
Before we went to the park, I explained my expectations. I would give them a 5 minute warning before it was time to leave. Then when it was time to leave, they were to come without whining.
If they obeyed, then we could go to the park again next week. If they disobeyed, we would skip the park next week.
That worked. But I had to break the cycle of them screaming every time we left the park by coming up with alternatives that I could control.
This will work for all the stress you are experiencing, but your solutions will vary. In the rest of the post, I’ll share some general tips that will also help when you’re feeling stressed out.
3. Use better time management.
If you’re stressed because you don’t have enough time each day, you probably need better time management.
Are you wasting time on social media in the mornings? Are you running multiple trips to the grocery store each week? Are you staying up too late at night?
You can fix all of these things by following a general schedule each day.
4. Enlist your family to help around the house.
Everyone in your home should be contributing to the running the household whether you are a stay at home mom or work outside the home.
It’s easy to feel like you’re the one cleaning up after everyone else. However, you need to stop doing that. Clearly communicate to your kids and husband areas in the home you need help.
Give your kids age appropriate chores to do.
5. Shorten your to-do list.
Do you feel stressed out because you are too busy? It’s okay to let some things go. Identify what are top priority and what are not.
Are your kids involved in too many extra curricular activities? Last year, I had to start saying “no” to some homeschool get togethers and other things that were taking up too much of our time.
Think about the activities your family is currently involved in. You may need to cut one or more of them out.
6. Spend time enjoying your kids.
When you are stressed out, you don’t have time or energy to slow down and simply enjoy the time with your children.
Yet, in 10 years from now, you’ll look back at this time and wished you had slowed down and enjoyed your kids at this stage.
Make a choice each day to spend at least a few minutes simply enjoying your kids.
- Sit on the floor and do what they are doing.
- Color at the table together.
- Read them a book.
- Invite one child to go on an errand with you for one-on-one time.
- Play outside with them instead of sending them out to play.
7. Practice basic self care regularly.
Stress also comes from not taking proper care of yourself. I have a feeling most stressed out moms are neglecting basic self care practices. I’m not talking about getting a pedicure or massage.
I’m talking about the things your body absolutely need in order to care for your family well.
- getting enough sleep
- drinking enough water
- moving your body
- eating nutritious food
- building relationships with others
- Bible reading and prayer
8. Accept this season of motherhood.
That’s a hard concept to embrace because when you are in the middle of the season it can feel like it will never end.
During the newborn stage you’re surviving off of very little sleep.
At the toddler stage you’re constantly chasing after a child who automatically is attracted to dangerous situations.
Whatever season you’re currently in, make the choice to accept it. This is a mental shift you must make. If you don’t you’ll always find something to stress you out at each stage your child goes through.
I had to pray about this. I also had to change each of my negative thoughts into positive ones. As a mom, that’s an important lesson to learn.
I hope this has been helpful and encouraging!
