I still remember the first time my 1 year old had a tantrum. He and I were at the grocery store. He kept screaming loudly, and I had no idea what to do!
It was a new phase of parenthood that had me second guessing my parenting skills and feeling pretty helpless.
Also, it was incredibly embarasssing. I just knew people were silently judging me, but all I did was ignore my 1 year old’s temper tantrum and try my best to get out of the store as quickly as possible.
Well, that wasn’t the last time my toddler threw a fit. I had many more opportunities to practice what to do and what not to do!
What NOT to do when your 1 year old has a tantrum.
1. Don’t yell at your toddler.
Yelling only escalates the tantrum instead of stopping it.
Unfortunately, early in my motherhood, I yelled when my toddler would throw fits. But I quickly learned this didn’t help the situation.
It only caused me and my toddler to get more upset and prolong the tantrum. I had to get my emotions under check if I was going to teach my toddler to do the same.
After lots of practice and intentional changes, I finally learned how to stop yelling at my kids. Even though it was hard to keep my emotions in check when my 1 year old was lying on the floor screaming, it was always worth it.
Sometimes, you just have to remind yourself to get through the next 20 seconds or 5 minutes when your toddler will eventually calm down.
A book that helped me is Letting Go of Anger. (affiliate link) It’s written by Annie Chapman from a christian perspective.
2. Don’t completely ignore the tantrum either.
I read a lot of books and articles that advised parents to ignore the 1 year old’s screaming and then they would stop. Let me tell ya, that doesn’t work!
Your toddler is throwing a tantrum because they need something. It may be sleep, a drink, or reassurance from their parent. But ignoring a screaming child does not work.
So then, what do you do?
Here are things that have worked for me as a now mom to elementary and preschool aged kids. I can look back and tell you there are some things that totally work. When my second child came along, I felt much better at handling the unavoidable tantrums.
Here’s what I did.
How to Deal with a 1 Year Old Tantrum
1. Think about why they are having a tantrum.
Your 1 year old can’t communicate what they are upset about. Actually, they may not even know themselves. As the parent, it’s important to think about things from their perspective.
Are they tired, hungry, sad, scared, lonely?
If you follow a consistent schedule, you’ll be able to deduce each of these. For instance, is it nap time? Your 1 year old may be throwing a tantrum because they are tired and don’t know how to tell you that.
Has it been a while since they had something to eat or drink? Maybe they are hungry or thirsty. This is why I always love having an easy snack and water bottle on hand!
However, if they just had a nap or something to eat, you can rule those reasons out and figure out the reason for the tantrum.
It may be they need a hug of reassurance from you. Or it may be they didn’t get a toy they wanted. That’s when it’s time to move on to the next step.
2. De escalate the tantrum.
It’s human nature to react emotionally to an uncomfortable situation like your 1 year old’s tantrum. However reacting with yelling or telling your toddler to stop, won’t work.
Instead, think of ways you can de escalate the emotion your toddler is experiencing.
Whisper to your child or talk in a soft voice.
Hug the child to calm their nerves. Loving and calm physical touch can do so much. It also helps your child know that you are there to help them.
Another thing that is often easy to do with toddlers is to simply distract them. For example, if your toddler wants a toy that another baby has, show them a different toy.
If you are in the grocery store and your 1 year old is screaming because you won’t let them hold the groceries, distract them by singing a quiet song, pointing to something you see on a sign, count their fingers…
In other words, engage with them in a different way that will cause them to not think about the thing that they wanted.
Especially, when you are at the store, your toddler is probably getting bored and not wanting to sit in the cart. I’ve found that the best thing for me to do is to not be in a rush and to include my toddler in conversation as I shop.
That has helped me avoid a lot of tantrums while we grocery shop.
3. Remain calm no matter what.
It’s so easy to react to their bad behavior with bad behavior yourself. But don’t do it. That will only escalate the tantrum.
Detatch from their behavior. Your toddler isn’t throwing a fit to be “mean” to you or to make you upset. Understand that this is how they are communicating a need.
As the parent, it’s your job to help them work through their emotions and communicate their needs in a correct manner.
The only way to do that is by remaining calm yourself.
How to Avoid 1 Year Old Tantrums.
1. Follow a sleeping and eating routine.
When you follow a schedule with your 1 year old, you’ll avoid a lot of tantrums because your toddler will get the sleep they need and they will have consistent meal times.
You’ll also be better able to determine why they might be throwing a fit and then know what to do about it.
2. Engage with your 1 year old.
Since your toddler may not be able to speak yet, you may find that you don’t engage a lot with them. But this leads to tantrums.
Have you ever noticed that your 1 year old gets upset when you are distracted by your phone? Or maybe when you are busy getting things checked off your to-do list?
Be sure to spend one on one time with your little one and give them the attention they need from Mom or Dad. Sometimes a simple hug, kind smile, and encouraging words will do wonders! Here are 9 daily things to do with your toddler.
Lastly, I’d like to end this post with a final word of encouragement. Every toddler and every parent is different. Even every tantrum is different!
Sometimes you won’t know what to do until you are in the unique situation. This is when James 1:19 comes to mind. “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
Whenever, your 1 year old starts a tantrum, be slow to react, pray for help, and meet the need of their heart.
I hope this post has been helpful. If you have any questions or tips you’d like to add, please feel free to share in the comments.
One thought on “Stop a 1 Year Old Tantrum with These Simple Tips.”
Lovely and encouraging for this first time mom, thank you!