If you’re a tired mom, this post will explain why you feel this way and what you can do to feel better.
Before becoming a mom, I didn’t understand how moms, especially stay at home moms could be so tired. They spent the whole day at home.
I had no idea what the true meaning of exhaustion was until I became a mom. It started that first night I was in the hospital and continued every moment after that. I wondered if I was ever going to feel rested again!
Now that I’ve been on my motherhood journey for 8 years, I know why moms are so tired.
It’s not just because they get less sleep, although that is a major contributing factor. It’s a lot of other things that all add up.
Why are moms so tired?
1. Being a mom is emotionally exhausting.
Moms deal with highly emotional beings who don’t have the maturity to control their emotions. Kids emotions are up and down constantly.
One minute a child may be crying and another they may be extremely happy and excited. Moms have to helps them manage those emotions all day. It’s emotionally exhausting.
2. Moms are constantly on high alert.
Since children don’t always have the ability to decipher between what is safe and what is not, Mom is always aware of things that the child may be doing. Moms make sure their children stay out of danger all the time.
This is emotionally exhausting as well because it’s hard to relax when you are constantly ready to jump in and help your children.
3. Moms don’t get enough sleep.
There are some seasons of motherhood where you just can’t get the sleep you need. For example, during the newborn/baby phase you are getting up multiple times a night to feed the baby.
If a child is sick or has a bad dream, they often don’t sleep well and neither does Mom.
However, there is also another reason moms don’t get enough sleep.
Moms simply don’t go to bed on time. I’ve been guilty of this myself. It’s so nice to have adult time when the kids go to bed. FREEDOM!
However, if you stay up way late, you’ll pay for it the next day. Whenever I would stay up late, I would always wake up exhausted the following morning.
That’s why I encourage moms to follow a bedtime for their kids and go to bed early themselves. That way your body is better able to adjust to a sleeping schedule and you’ll get the sleep you need.
4. Moms don’t get quiet time to themselves.
Of course, I love my kids and I’m incredibly blessed to be home with me. However, there have been times I’ve thought to myself, “If I went back to work, at least I’d have some quiet time to myself and not be around kids ALL day long.”
It happens to all of us. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you need some time to yourself. Time where you don’t have to meet the needs of others.
It’s not selfish to take time out for yourself and practice self care. In fact, it’s important that you do.
5. Moms don’t ask for help.
Being a mom means you do a lot. There are meals to make, dishes to wash, messes to clean, errands to run, and so much more. Yes, a lot of that will fall on you as the mom, especially if you’re a stay at home mom.
However, you shouldn’t be doing it all. If you’re constantly cleaning up after everyone else, it’s time to ask for help.
Your family can’t read your mind. You have to specifically tell your kids what to do. You need to verbalize to your husband ways you would appreciate his help.
So now that you know why moms are tired, here are some things you can do about it.
Help for Tired Moms
1. Schedule time for rest during the day.
I love this quote, “If you get tired, learn to rest not quit.”
When you are tired, that is a sign that something’s got to change. You need to rest, not to give up.
However, it can be really hard to know how to rest as a mom. In fact, resting may even seem laughable to you!
I used to think that I had to have something for my kids to do every second of the day. If they were bored, I felt like I needed to entertain them.
But I’ve learned that as long as I’m pouring into them at different times throughout the day, it’s okay and actually good for them to get bored. They always come up with something creative to do.
Here are some tips:
- Have a quiet time during the day where kids rest or play quietly in their rooms.
- Encourage independent play.
- Wake up before your kids.
- Have dedicated book time where you read to yourself and your kids look through books on their own.
- Use screen time very intentionally.
- Go for a walk with your headphones as you push your kids in the stroller.
- Do calm activities with your kids. Like playdo, Kinetic sand, or coloring with music playing in the background.
2. Follow an evening routine and personal bedtime.
Start with your kids. Get them on a sleeping schedule for naps, bedtime, and wake up times. If they are on a regular bedtime schedule, they’ll sleep better at night, and that means, you will too.
Once your children are on a regular sleeping schedule and sleeping better at night, commit to a bedtime yourself. You probably have more control over the amount of sleep you get than you realize.
Instead of staying up late after the kids go to bed, follow an evening routine and be sure to stick with a bedtime yourself. You’ll thank yourself in the morning!
3. Ask for help when you are tired.
Talk to your spouse about a regular time you can get away by yourself. You have to be intentional about this or it will never happen. So be sure to make a plan and then clearly communicate it to your husband.
You can also get the kids to help you around the house so that you aren’t the only one doing all the housework.
Get the kids involved in household chores as much as they are able. Here’s how to get toddlers to do chores.
If you’re not sure who to ask for help, sit down and make a list of people you know. Is there another mom you could trade babysitting days with? Would the grandparents be willing to watch the kids sometimes?
Make a list of people and have it handy for times when you need a break.
4. Eliminate the nonessential.
One way I keep my life balanced is by knowing what my priorities are and making sure my life reflects them.
When I feel tired it is usually because I’m spending too much time on things that I shouldn’t be doing.
As a mom, your priorities have changed along with the amount of time you have. In this season of life you may need to cut back on volunteering or multiple hobbies.
It’s still important to take time for yourself and do hobbies outside of motherhood. However, you may need to pick one or two things instead of a bunch.
Is there anything that is taking up too much time in your life, but isn’t really a priority in this season? Do your best to cut back in that area.
5. Figure out what rejuvenates you, and do it.
Most people are either an introvert or an extrovert.
If you are an introvert, you feel energized when you get time to yourself. Like going for a walk, reading a book, journaling, working on a hobby alone.
If you are an extrovert, you feel energized around people. Like calling a friend, moms night out, or throwing a party. Figure out what energizes you, and make time to do it.
Only YOU can get the rest you need. Following a daily schedule will help you find time throughout your day that you can incorporate activities that energize you.
Lastly, I’d like to remind you that if you are a tired mom, it’s important to take steps away from exhaustion. Because when you are constantly tired, you won’t be the mom you want to be.
Tired moms are more likely to get upset easily and yell at their kids. They are more likely to burnout and become depressed. And all of that leads to an unhappy home.
So take the steps you need to get the rest you need in order to be the best version of yourself for you, your kids, and your spouse.
